Liebe
Memory is a very tricky thing. On the one side it allows you to stay focus, by making some coherency in between past, present and future. But on the other, it messes with your head in such a way... Take for instance my recent happening: I wrote my ex-boyfriend a long, pretty messy e-mail, whose subject is still a sort of mistery to me; in between apologizing for all the crap I gave him and yearning one more time to be together... I really did it this time... but you know what? His reply just made me remember all the reasons why things went wrong in the first place.
Looking at those lines, picturing him writing to me in a mix of curiosity and pride, that characterises most of these sort of come-backs-at-your-ex I realized that, he hasn't changed a bit in this past year. That's right, he's still the same sweet sweet pain in the ass that was the recipient of both my love and my rage for the past 3 years, and even though I've managed to dettach myself from the emotional turmoil my life had been all along the past year -not to mention my perennial contempt towards him- and really give him a place in my both my mind and my heart, avoiding any petty belittlements on my behalf, that were partially the cause of our break-up. I found myself thinking once more: "this guy is a spass", "how the fuck did we make it 3 years together?",... and such.
Well, maybe love is not only blind but mentally challenged as well. How the fuck is love going to join depressiv-drug-addicted with geek-control-freak? Ladies and Gentlemen ICH HAB' ES MAL ERLEBT!!!
Fuck! Love is one of the wierdest most wild experiences a human being can have. It just displaces your mind and dilutes it into a pile of small really really rewarding experiences that cloud your judgment even in the smallest things. Its totally worth it, and somehow, once its over, you feel like you have changed. Its like making a journey of some sort OR in the case of my ex-boyfriend: NOTHING HAPPENS!! man, that's being dead in the inside.
He attacked me so much for being stubborn and well... erratic. But I'll take wild and crazy a thousand thousand times before calm and boring. That reminds me of an old saying in spanish: "Líbrame señor de estas aguas mansas..." (Don't know the end of it, tough).
Looking at those lines, picturing him writing to me in a mix of curiosity and pride, that characterises most of these sort of come-backs-at-your-ex I realized that, he hasn't changed a bit in this past year. That's right, he's still the same sweet sweet pain in the ass that was the recipient of both my love and my rage for the past 3 years, and even though I've managed to dettach myself from the emotional turmoil my life had been all along the past year -not to mention my perennial contempt towards him- and really give him a place in my both my mind and my heart, avoiding any petty belittlements on my behalf, that were partially the cause of our break-up. I found myself thinking once more: "this guy is a spass", "how the fuck did we make it 3 years together?",... and such.
Well, maybe love is not only blind but mentally challenged as well. How the fuck is love going to join depressiv-drug-addicted with geek-control-freak? Ladies and Gentlemen ICH HAB' ES MAL ERLEBT!!!
Fuck! Love is one of the wierdest most wild experiences a human being can have. It just displaces your mind and dilutes it into a pile of small really really rewarding experiences that cloud your judgment even in the smallest things. Its totally worth it, and somehow, once its over, you feel like you have changed. Its like making a journey of some sort OR in the case of my ex-boyfriend: NOTHING HAPPENS!! man, that's being dead in the inside.
He attacked me so much for being stubborn and well... erratic. But I'll take wild and crazy a thousand thousand times before calm and boring. That reminds me of an old saying in spanish: "Líbrame señor de estas aguas mansas..." (Don't know the end of it, tough).
posted by vanderboork at 6:04 PM
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